Girls Talk…

Girls talk……….

Everybody knows that girls talk. And in our case the girls are au pairs. Too many of them have told their friends that the au pair program is, at best, old hat, at worse, a program open for abuse by families looking for a cheap cleaner.

In the last couple of weeks I have witnessed long e-mail discussions between members for the British Au Pair Agencies Association, many of whom have been placing au pairs in British families for decades. They say it has never been as tough as today to find nice girls who want to be au pair.

I think there are many parties who may have contributed to this, all a little bit in their own way. Some agencies were driven more by commercial decisions rather than by finding the right people or the right match. I suppose, if you have 100s a month to place, it matters less if some don’t work out.

There may also have been families who realised that some girls will do a lot more than just 25 hours for little (or no) extra money. And on top of light housework, why not save on the cleaner and make the au pair do it…………. And many girls in the past may have felt they had not choice but accept.

At least once a week I get a call or e-mail with examples of girls who would like to move to another family because

• She is asked to clean the shower with a toothbrush (a cleaner’s job)
• The family wants her to paint the room (painter/decorator?)
• She is doing all the ironing, including sheets (dry cleaners job)

Most of us know that a bad experience is generally shared with at least 10 people, whereas a good one may only be told to a couple. And girls talk has most certainly been about the disappointments and the false promises, rather than the amazing opportunities!

European girls now have more choices than ever before, with job opportunities for intelligent and ambitious young people increasing by the day due to strengthening economies. Many of our candidates are of graduate calibre. Still, even more potential job opportunities are open to those with a degree PLUS fluent English, proven experience in time management, flexibility, adaptability and team spirit, all of which can be gained from the au pair program.

The responsibility for change lies with all of us. Agencies should try harder to inform both families (and au pairs) of the guidelines of the cultural exchange. If a housekeeper is needed, don’t try to fit the jobs around the au pair, but recommend a true housekeeper! (or housekeeper agency). This may leave you with fewer clients but at least it leaves you with the right ones in the long run……..

And families should share this responsibility. I think many of them know where they may have asked a bit to much, simply because ‘they could’. I always ask my families ‘would you expect your daughter to do this, if she was on a cultural exchange?’. In my case, I think ‘would I ask Charly?’ she is my savvy 19 year old niece, who helped in my office for a couple of months to give me feedback on ‘what young people want’.

If we can jointly make the au pairs program desirable (again) as a cultural exchange option, every host family will have a choice of au pairs again.

And I don’t think it is hard……… this is what we need in my view;

• An agreed list of acceptable tasks in advance, the role has to be mostly childcare (80% = 4 out of 5 hours should be activities with the children) as this is the ideal way for au pairs to improve their (language) skills, a BAPAA agency clearly defines what tasks could be done by the au pair and the family confirms which of those are applicable.
• Help with research of affordable quality language courses in your local area, this can save a lot of money and make all the difference to her happiness; it is her main objective to improve English.
• Minimum pocket money of £70 for 25 hours, now that language classes are no longer free, some au pairs truly struggle on less, we want this to be fair and enjoyable.
• Any positions over 30-35 hours should not be called a cultural exchange program as time and energy for language classes is minimal if you work long days. There are plenty of girls who wish to take on these positions, but let’s call them what they are; mother’s help jobs and pay accordingly.
• Make time to talk to your au pair, even if it is just 10 minutes of quality time per day, this is a relationship too.
• Praise and reward, if she is trying hard or has done something extra, why not put in some extra pocket money, pay for a train ticket to London or even a flight home after a few months.

As a relative newcomer in the au pair industry, I think my in depth telephone consultations with each prospective host family at the start of the au pair introduction means that the vast majority of my host families are happy to stick to the above ‘guidelines for success’ already and it has given our agency and our families a very high success rate and many of my families agree it is great return on investment.

In Europe the above is already regulated. The European Committee for Au Pair standards makes sure that all recognised au pair agencies follow the same guidelines, making the au pair program something to be proud of.

And pride is want we want, proud mums who show off a happy au pair at the school gate and proud au pairs who go home and tell their friends to follow in their footsteps. Because girls talk…………..with pride!